Christmas in the hospital

As you could imagine Christmas is the most difficult holiday being here in Panama. Last year, my first Christmas in Panama was spent sitting in the coffee shop and reading a book. I was determined not to have a repeat of last year so I decided that I will not be in my city alone for Christmas.

I was told about a few volunteers going to a hostel that is in a secluded area in the mountains this year, so I also decided to go. On Christmas Eve another volunteer and I hopped on the bus and made our way to the hostel. He told me that it would be a 30 minute hike off the road to get to the lodge. But he didn’t tell me that it would be all uphill with rocks and mud. I was wearing some old tennis shoes without any traction and almost busted my skull two or three trying to climb up the path.

We finally made it up the hill and went to the reception to check in. The attendant showed us to our rooms and I was placed in a dorm room with about 10 other people. When we walked in, the first thing I noticed was a 3 story bunk bed. I immediately pointed to the top and said I’m not sleeping up there. She laughed and said “Naw you’re here in the bottom bunk”.

Fast forward to later that night. I met a few new volunteers that I have never seen and a couple of familiar ones. Everything was going great, good food, good company and it was Christmas eve. Around 1 o’clock just about everyone headed for bed and it was lights out.

Now I don’t know exactly what time this happened, but it was somewhere between 1 and 3 o’clock. When I was sleeping I heard a small crash as if something fell on the ground. I woke up and looked around and noticed that a bag that wasn’t there before was hanging over my bed. So I figured that the bag must have fallen from the top bunk. Then immediately after, I saw something in the air move and heard a big SMMACK on the ground. I peaked over my bed and just thought “you can’t be serious” It looked like an outline of a body. I jumped out of the bed and turned on the lights to see the girl that was on the top bunk was laid out on the ground bleeding from the nose.

OK OK OK OK OK Alec remember remember, its been 5 years but remember whats next. The next 10 minutes I didn’t pay attention to anything to what anyone in the room were saying. Keep her head secure, turn her over, check her airway and see if she has any injuries to her face. That’s when I snapped out of it and realized I needed someone else’s help. When I asked for help of course there was a spectator that yells DON’T TOUCH HER, DON’T TOUCH HER, DON’T TOUCH HER, I WOULD HELP BUT IVE BEEN DRINKING. I didn’t want to be the one to yell at him to shut up because we might need him later so I just kept quiet and acted as if I couldn’t hear him. A volunteer shortly came over to me and we turned her over. At first when I saw her on the ground I thought that something was blocking her breathing because of the sounds that I was hearing, but after turning her over I realized she was snoring. HOW IN THE HELL IS SHE STILL SLEEP? We woke her up and of course she was disoriented. I continued to go down her body asking her if she had any pain and the only answers I got from her was no or she would just stick her tongue out at me. I was stumped. I couldn’t remember how to continue so I just sat there trying to think while others tried to get in contact with the ambulance.

About an hour and a half later the ambulance arrived, but they refused to hike up to the lodge to help get her. Someone had to hike down to the road get the stretcher and neck brace and then hike back up so we could put her on the stretcher and place the neck brace.

Remember how I described the hike in to the lodge? Well it was like that but pitch black and raining now. It took about 8 people and 45 minutes to get her down to the road on the stretcher safely. Since the nearest hospital was in my city two other volunteers and I accompanied her to the hospital.

After a few hours the doctors at the hospital did their assessment and said that she could be released shortly. I wasn’t allowed in the room where they were holding her so I had no idea how she was doing and what her condition was. So I was under the impression to just trust what the doctors said. But the guy that was allowed to go see her said that she was still not able to remember what happened to her and she seemed like she was still in bad shape. After hours of volunteers from the lodge persistently calling and urging the medical officer to allow her to get a CAT scan, they finally did it. They found 2 contusions on her brain and some bleeding. I’m sure that you know, an injury like that is serious stuff. It’s just sad to know that it took all that effort to get the doctors to take her injury seriously and go the extra step to assure that she was fine.

Fortunately she was shortly transferred to the hospital in Panama City and is now resting and under observation. From what I’ve heard she is continuously improving but her it’s possible that her service as a volunteer may be cut short.

Awkward Moments

These are just a few awkward moments that I have experienced here that I forgot to put in my past blogs

When I first moved here to this city I was assigned to live in a community called Arco Iris (Rainbow). It was faaaar from what the translation says. The only word I can describe this place is the Hood. I lived about 4 houses down from an abandoned building that everyone called the casa de piedra (house of stone). The translation for that word fits perfectly because it also was a crack house. Every so often some shady characters would creep out of the building now and then. There was one in particular that targeted my as his new friend. The first time I met him he said you should be really careful around here, Ill protect you. Then he asked me for 75 cents. This guy weighs a little over 100 pounds and stands about 5’ 5 inches tall. I didn’t think I’ll need his protection. But I ended up giving him the spare change in my pocket just so he would leave me alone even though I have been told to never give him money. Since that day, every time he sees me he rushes over to me to ask for more change. After a while I picked up the habit of just ignoring him. But this one day in particular he decided not to take no for an answer. He did his regular routine of asking me for 75 cents and I did my regular routine of continuing walking. But this time he didn’t just go away. This man followed me for 2 blocks yelling I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL, I WAS GOING TO PROTECT YOU PAPI PAPI PAPI PPAAAPPPII POR FAVOR POR FAVORRRR. That had to be the longest 2 blocks I’ve ever walked.

Back when I lived in my first apartment here. There were a couple weeks where I received constant visits from my neighbors. One day I was in the kitchen washing the dishes when I heard someone yelling my name. It was my new neighbor in the apartment in front of mine. I walked to the door to see what she wanted and she asked could she use my computer to check her email. I thought it was kind of weird but she was cute so I let her in. She sits down and checks her email for about 10 minutes quietly then she asked me what is today’s date? I said it’s the 15^th. Then she began to read her email out loud. “Esteemed client you account is currently past due, if payment of 60 dollars isn’t received by the 16^th your service will be suspended”, then she takes a deep breath and is quite again. I decided this was the perfect time to use the greatest advantage to being a foreigner. I continued washing my dishes without turning around and acted like I didn’t understand a thing she was saying. After a few minutes of awkward silence I asked, SOO do you still live with your mother?

Every Sunday here in David about 80 percent of the city is shut down. The only choices you have are to go to the movies, sit in the house or go to the coffee shop. So it has become a tradition for me to go to the coffee shop every Sunday and read a book. Recently I have been seeing a bald guy dressed in all black just standing in front of the coffee shop. I thought it was pretty weird, so I asked the girl behind the counter why is he there. She told me that he is taking care of the building. I didn’t get it. So are you telling me someone is paying him just to stand there? She smiled and said yes. Seriously? Seriously? She just laughed and said SSSSIIIIIIII. After I got my coffee I sat down and began reading my book. When I finished my first chapter I felt someone hovering over me. I slowly slip my eyes over my book to see who it was. It was the guy from the crack house. Maaann this can’t be happening, I just want to read my book in peace. He again asked me for 75 cents and I tried to ignore him but he wouldn’t move. That’s when I noticed the bald guy in all black jump into action. He power walked from his post, slung open the door and said. HEY YOU, YOURE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN HERE, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. After the guy left the girl behind the counter just looked at me. Well I guess I feel stupid now.

One night I was at the English school that I volunteer at. I noticed that one of the students had a new pair of shoes I said it looks like somebody’s baalllliinn. After that I had to explain what that meant and it became a 15 minutes conversation of other slang words and phrases. There was also another volunteer there from Canada (of anglo-saxon decent) listening to what I was saying. He then said “By time they leave class they are all going to be speaking like this.. YO YO SON, WHO IT IS, WHAT UP MY NIGGG….  BRO. It was an awkward few seconds after that comment, so I just ignored it and continued the conversation as if I never heard it.

Obviously he was about to say nigger and he tried to stop himself. The word actually doesn’t bother me too much but it does make me wonder. What is people’s fascination with saying it?

Junior Achievement

Every since the day I was accepted into Peace Corps, I have been asked to conduct a Junior Achievement program into the highschool that I would be assigned to. If you don’t know what Junior Achievement is, it’s a program designed for students from middle school up to highschool about business principles. Back in the states I taught the program once to a group of middle schoolers in a summer school program. It’s fairly easy to implement, the only thing you need to really do is read and follow the directions of the teacher’s guide and your pretty much set. When I was asked to do it again, I figured it would be just as easy as before. But according to the Peace Corps model, you have to do everything with another community member so that when the volunteer leaves it would continue without them. I had no idea this would be a problem. At the beginning of the school year I asked the business professor would she like to try out the program with me. I gave the complete program to her so that she could look it over. I put her in contact with the people that are in charge of the program so that all her questions could be answered, but in the end it didn’t work out. She said the program doesn’t work with her class schedule and Junior Achievement is not willing to adjust it for her. I said Ok, maybe we will try it some other time.

Five months later, here enters my boss for the second year visit. We did the regular routine of having a meeting with the teachers that I work with. The only difference this time was that the principle and vice principle was both out for seminars that week. So they were replaced by this guy who is an administrator. Till this day I had no idea what his purpose is. All I know is that he sits in the office and talks really loud and that everyone tells me to stay far away from him. So while we are in the meeting my boss keeps pushing this idea that we need to do Junior Achievement because she feels that I am concentrating on English classes too much. Usually when someone comes from the outside of an environment and tries to push their own agenda without knowing what is going on in that environment, usually problems are caused. As soon as everyone looked at me and said who did you talk to about this program already, the only thing I can think of was, CRAP Im going to regret this!!! I said Peggy. So the administrator that I was talking about earlier ( I don’t remember his name right now so let’s just call him Napolean for now) looks at me and says you and her are going to do this next week in a commanding voice. I have been told in the past that I have a problem with authority, so maybe that’s why my face started to cringe and my throat got hot when he said that. I felt it would be best for me to just shut up. He then says also you’re going to march in the parade with us next week. I am not a fan of parades AT ALL but I just said “fine” and stayed quit. The next week I sucked it up and went to march in the parade. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually entertaining, because of the 2 professors that marched on the side of me. Both of them were wearing high heels for a 2 hour march. I was soo intrigued to see who would last the longest. One was wearing brown heels that were moderately low and the other was wearing bright red high heels for clubbin. I was torn. The red heels seemed like the obvious choice to break down first but she had the biggest calves for a woman I have ever seen in my life. It was a difficult decision. After an hour and a half the teacher with the brown heels quit and jumped out of the line and disappeared into the crowd, while the teacher with the red heels made it the whole way without one complaint. I was impressed.

The week after that I was walking to English class when I hear someone scream my name. I turned around to discover Napoleon pointing at me, “COME HERE. I told him that I need to go to class. “which class”-“English class”-“No you come here, we need to talk. Remember what your boss said…blah..blah..blah”. I didn’t understand the rest because he was talking soo loud and soo fast I just wanted to put my hands over my ears, spin around and yell ..SHUT UP..SHUT UP.. SHUT UP!!!My face began to scrunch up again and the hot feeling that I had in my throat returned. I calmly said, I will go to the office and see you after I get done. After class I went to the office. He told me that I am going to do the Junior achievement program next week. Before he continued I stopped him and said “with which professor?”-“All of them”-“I don’t understand”-“Every teacher is going to help you out”. This made so sense to me at all. Then I realized that I was told the week before that because of finals exams there would only be 2 weeks of classes left. Then I said hey we are not going to do the program this semester because there is not enough time. “What, remember what your boss said” “yea I know but the program is for 2 months and we only have 2 weeks”, “no your boss said next week”, “she doesn’t know what she is talking about, she has no idea what is going on”. Then he started to pout like a little kid that lost his toy and kept saying “I don’t know, I don’t know”. Till this day I still don’t know why he would say “I dont know” to me that phrase just doesn’t seem to fit there. Anyway this is when I looked around the office and saw everyone freeze. No one looked our way but they all stopped what they were doing and tried to hide that they were listening. After that little show down between us it’s been pretty awkward. But just when I thought it was over, someone from the meeting told the teaching that I offered the Junior Achievement program earlier in the year that I said that she isn’t willing to cooperate with me. Well at least I went a year and a half without anyone at the school being pissed at me. That’s good right?

You gonna just walk into my house like that?

Its rainy season here in Panama, my favorite time of the year. There is a cool breeze and overcast for the majority of the day that makes it feel like a autumn day back in the states. If the weather was like this every day it would be hard for me to leave. So I take advantage of the weather and leave my door open so I can catch the breeze. Unfortunately had no idea what would happen if I left my door. I guess having my door open is an open invitation to walk into my house. I recently have acquired two new neighbors. I think before I started leaving my door open I talked to them maybe twice, and that was just a short conversation. I guess within those two conversations they worked up the confidence to feel that we are best friends. Last week I was in the kitchen and homeboy from next door scared the hell out of me. He just walked in and said I smell coffee, you making coffee. When he walked in, he did it with soo much confidence and authority I thought I was in the wrong apartment. For a second I started to think maybe I invited him over and forgot. Two days later he walked in on me on a Sunday and smelled me cooking pancakes and eggs and asked can he have some eggs. I happen to actually made too much food for me and gave him the extras but DAMN, really, you’re going to just walk in like that. That same day the little boy from the other side of the apartment walked in while I was watching football on the computer and said hey who’s playing while he took off his shoes and made himself comfortable to watch. My door has been shut since that Sunday.

Getting along since the other volunteers left has been actually different than I expected. Its as if my time here has completely changed. My boredom has become busyness and my rush to go back to the states has disappeared. Between working in the high school, volunteering at the language institute and sometimes sitting in on the classes at the university my schedule has been pretty packed. And because I am constantly out the house I have met a bunch of cool and interesting people. The food no longer time bothers me and I eat beans and rice like a champ now. I’ve even started to pick up eating the meat that they serve on the street corners. I was kinda scared at first to mess with it, now I’m looking for the street meat carts every time I’m in the downtown area. Man I still can’t believe you can find meat on a stick for 25 cents apiece,, and its gooooood. People say that the meat may be stray cats, but I don’t care, it’s delicious. It seems the curiosity and excitement to learn that I felt the day I arrived here has somehow come back to me. I guess getting over the first year is the hardest part, and then it’s just all downhill from there.

Month of changes

This month has been a busy month for traveling. Within a month I have traveled to Panama City 3 times and also Boquete. Boquete is ok but I’m not that much of a fan of it. It’s a big tourist spot so a lot of people speak English, which is ok. However tourist spots attract a lot of backpackers, mainly from Europe. All I can say about backpackers is that a lot of them are very free spirited people. Last week I went there for just a night with another volunteer to take care of some things. When I was checked into my room, I was somehow assigned to a room with 2 bunkbeds by myself. So my friend asked me if he could stay in my room since he had to share with 3 other people. When he asked me I was at the bottom of the stairs ready to go to the grocery store. I yelled up the stairs, yea that’s fine it’s the only one with the door that’s open. Usually I don’t leave doors unlocked but I didn’t have anything in my room worth value so I didn’t worry too much about it. After I said that, this german girl and guy from czech republic started giving me this weird look and just waited at the edge of the stairs with me. I thought it was kind of strange what they were doing but I didn’t pay them much attention. I just figured they were weird and it wasn’t my business. We then went to the grocery store but I was surprised by what I found when I got back. We got to the door and it was locked. I was 100 percent sure I didn’t lock the door. I pulled out my key and I started to hear moans from inside the room. I turned to my friend and said Hey man somebody is having sex in my room”, Naw man, you’re probably hearing another room. No I’m sure it’s coming from here. Then the moaning stopped and the door was blocked from me opening it. YOoo why are you having sex in my room-Sorry the door was open- Hey man you need to get out my room. Hey give us 5 minutes. I was too annoyed to go back and forth so I just went down stairs while my friend just keeping yelling through the door .Thats not cool man, That’s really not cool man, Not cool at all. When they finally came out I could hear from downstairs my friend asks which bed did they use. When they said his bed, I just busted out laughing. He was not a happy camper.

Also this month I have been invited to help out with English classes in one of the universities here in David. I have to admit that I enjoy these classes more than the ones in the high school. The students are pretty calm and their level of English is pretty high. All I really have to do is talk to them and help with their pronunciation. Usually when I am in the highschool I am pretty good with choosing my vocabulary carefully. I know not to use slang or speak quickly. Unfortunately with the college students I get too comfortable when speaking to them and tend to use slang. The other day I caught myself using the word cockblock. It was too hard to explain what it means.

This is also the month when the previous groups of volunteers return to the states. It’s a bittersweet feeling. Bitter, obviously because you lose some of the people that you have got to know over the past year that understand your feelings of being isolated or lonely. Even that safety net of being able to speak English.  Also  listening to them excitedly tell you how much they are ready to go home and the things that they are going to do and eat. While I sit and dream of Zaxbys IHOP Chick-fila, Quiznos……. Im getting hot flashes just thinking about it. But the sweet thing about them leaving is they give away all their stuff. I made out like a bandit. I now have a new fridge, queen size bed, blender, speakers, microwave, various foods and an option to move into a bigger place for the same price that I am paying.

Unfortunately one volunteer that was leaving had a horrible experience. When he took a taxi in the city with all of his positions he was held up by the taxi driver and an accomplice. What I was told is that the person in the back seat held a screwdriver to his neck and told him to give up all he had. Luckily he was not hurt and was let go without a scratch. Now when I first heard this story I felt sorry for the man. That just plain sucks. However two days later I was told the same story but with one more piece of information. Before you read anymore, have an open mind. I still feel bad for the guy and would not wish that on my worst enemy. But when I was told that they took the man’s glasses off of his face too. I started CRACKING UP HARD till my face started to hurt. If your reading this,, sorry. They know damn well they don’t have the same prescription. How you going to take all of someone’s possessions and then decide to yank the glasses off their face too. Rob him and make him blind. That’s just jacked up.

Encounter with Transvestites

I know I haven’t written in a while but my life has started to become a basic routine. Get up, go to school, read, go to the gym, eat, go home and sleep. That’s it……!! If I am not trying to meet with organizations to bring to the school or doing private English classes, that’s pretty much what my life is Monday through Friday. I didn’t feel the need to waste precious space on the web posting that. Life during the weekends varies. Im probably at the coffee shop reading, watching a movie on my labtop, or watching videos on YouTube. Matter of fact Im at the coffee shop right now typing this. Pretty exciting life right…..? However this is the life that I am now use to. But every so often someone calls me to hangout at night and some of the weirdest things happen.

One day another volunteer and I was walking back home on a Saturday night. I was way too tired to keep up so he was a little ahead of me. About halfway from home I hear him yelling across the street at a group of women on the corner. I don’t know what there are saying to each other but whatever it was it seemed interesting. So I sped up , by time a got up to where they were, one of the women in a deep raspy deep voice hisses at me and says “ssssss sssss sssss ssss “hey gordito venga aca” (hey chubby come here). I looked over to see a group of figures with no waist,,,,, or curves ,,,and hair that looked suspiciously too long. I said to my friend OH MY GOSH IS THAT A MAN HISSING AT ME? Yes those are men. Then he continues with his debate with the transvestitian prostitutes or whatever the term is suppose to be. Im not going to get into the specifics of their argument, all I’m going to say is they were in a heated debate over who has what kind of equipment. Probably was the funniest thing Ive heard since Ive been here.

Back at school things continue to fluctuate. Some days are good ones and some days are just disappointing. The good days are the ones where even though I know a lot of the students are behind in learning basic sentence structure in English, they still participate and try. Or when some of them are having trouble grasping what I may be going over, they stay after class longer to get help on how to do it. Of course there are some kids that easily grasp things and have no trouble at all, and I’m glad for them. However knowing that I’m actually being utilized makes me want to get up and come back the next day. But some days are just sucky. Like days when hope is giving to the kids just to be easily taken away. Within the last few weeks the professor in charge of the civil protection club and I have tried to get the fire department and the Red Cross to come to our school and teach the students first aid and CPR. Each organization agreed but on the appointed time they both acted as if they didn’t know that they were supposed to come. Even after they received a formal letter from us and a call confirming if they were coming, 2 days before the event. People that make more excuses than a crackhead caught in a pharmacy, make my blood boil. And that’s exactly who these organizations remind me of. Within 3 weeks I have completely lost patience for them. I am now working on a way to somehow get our own CPR dummies and I will teach them myself. The motto I have been told from our trainers is to not teach anything that other Panamanians can them, just make the connections to make it possible. But when things like this happen, I go by the motto “if you want something done you just have to do it yourself”.

Evaluating the last ten months

I entered into Panama August 18 of last year, rounding about to about 10 months living in the country. Time has been going soo fast for me. I can still remember the day that I got on the plane to come here and the feeling of curiosity of what was next to come as if it were yesterday. As I look back from today I get a feeling of accomplishment and also failure.

I think that I have come a long way considering that things that use to bother me. For example, I have got over my fear of using public toilets and outhouses, but only between the hours of 7am and 6pm. I have bathed in a creek without freaking out when bugs were crawling on me and lived without electricity or running water. I no longer get frustrated when people cut me in line, talk over me as if I wasn’t there, when someone is 2 hours late, when people try to plow their way in and out the bus, little kids writing chino on my apartment windows when I’m obviously not Chinese, and all the pull handles being on doors that should be pushed.

But I would say out of all of the things that have happened I believe I have become a more patient and maybe a bit nicer. The Panamanians have taught me a lot about communicating with people. They are more concerned about what the other person has to say instead of what they want to get across. And for the most part they are concerned about people’s background and general welfare. Honestly I was not like that what so ever before I got here. I was more concerned about the point at hand and did not need any extra details. So I try to practice these principles and be more social. Even though sometimes trying to be social has backfired on me. When I first arrived here I met a girl that is an English teacher. She wanted to display her English skills so she acted as my translator in a conversation I had between her mother and the women that I use to live with. That was the last time I talked to her up until about a month or ago. I saw a very small women her sitting with her friends occasionally glancing at me at a salsa class that I went to. I immediately recognized her as my former translator. I walked over to her with a big smile on my face and said, “Hey haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you”? She looked up and said “Que”? Then I repeated, “How are you”. She then again said “Que” but louder as if I didn’t understand her. At this moment I thought in my head, I know this girl isn’t going to act stupid make me look like a creep in public when I was just trying to be nice. Then I said in the don’t act stupid tone in my voice, “I know you speak English”. Then she said yes I do, ooh my mom told me she talked to you the other day. I was a bit disturbed for 15 minutes after that. To top it off another volunteer that came to the class said “That’s what you get for trying to talk to people, that’s why I talk to no one.”Lesson learned.

But I believe that I failed to do the things that I first strived to be when I got here. I have found myself falling victim to the slow paced life here. I’m no longer the busybody that I once was. It seems that I am more concerned about fitting in than making change happen. When the fact of the matter is that I have never fit in anywhere. I have always been known as the odd or different one, so what makes me think that it would be any different in another country. I have only a short amount of time here and I’m moving at a slow pace as if I am going to live here for good. The contributions I have made to the school do not feel it has been enough to me. I haven’t grasped the culture, way of life and advanced in the language as fast as I wanted. And it’s my own fault, because I haven’t put in all the effort that I need to. Frankly, sometimes I just feel intimidated by the bar that I set for myself. I thought before a year I would be speaking Spanish as clearly as a native, and have multiple projects in the school going on. I have 2 months to reach a year and the things that I thought were going to happen aren’t. During my last night in the states on vacation last week, two friends of mine gave me a dog tag with a map of the world with “Don’t be intimidated to change the world” engraved on the back. Sometimes the smallest things can change the way you think. I realized that there is no reason not to make things happen, the only thing that is standing in the way of accomplishing the things that I came here to do is myself. Even though I didn’t make my one year goal, that doesn’t mean that I can accomplish my second year goal. I need to use less energy into concentrating what is going on in the states and in the past, when I need to concentrate on what is going on here and the present. Don’t get me wrong. I still want to be involved on what’s going on in the life of my family and friends, it’s just that my mind needs to be here and not all over the place like it has been.

After spending probably the best 2 weeks of my life back home in the states, Ive come to realize that most of everything is the same. No buildings have moved, gas prices are still high as hell, this person still doesn’t like that person, and subway sandwiches are still 5 dollars (I think). The only differences are the some of the relationships you have with people. Some stay the same; some become closer to you in your absence, some you can no longer relate too, while others drift away from you because you can’t give them the attention that you once use to have the time to. It makes you come to realize that you don’t have control over those things, just an influence that you have to use wisely. I just hope that the lack of my unwise decisions over that influence hasn’t ruined those slipping relationships, and the lessons I have learned from being here will make the future ones better.

Latin People Time is noooo joke

This week began the 4 day seminar over how to form a small business. A couple of months ago after doing a small assessment of the high school that I am working with, I noticed that there isn’t a strong program for entrepreneurship. So I asked a local organization here in Panama to teach the students business principles and how to start their own after graduation. After the seminar I asked all the students if they enjoyed it and what could be improved to make it better. I made sure to say give me your true opinion and not something I would expect to hear. Surprisingly only one person said that it was boring. They all seemed to enjoy it and gave their full participation. It was good to hear all of those who appreciated the effort I put into making this happen, and all the request to repeat the seminar for another group of students.  The seminar consisted of one day explain what is Ampyme and how they are involved with the formation of small businesses also the different types of business. The next day was over the relationship between the boss and employees, and on the third day the students had to make their own business and present it. This was the coolest part. To watch them get up and explain their products, even though I didn’t understand half of what they said. So I would say overall the seminar has gone well, the only issue I had is the issue with time here. I wrote a formal letter to the organization confirming the time and the date of the seminar. It was scheduled at 9 o’clock in the morning. The students and I sat waiting for them to show for an hour and a half. When they arrived it was like everything was on schedule or something. No explanation for the tardiness or anything. So the next day I didn’t go get the students at 9 because I figured that they would be late again.  I sat in the lab waiting for them playing with my laptop. When they finally arrived an hour late homeboy got an attitude with me because the students weren’t in the room ready, because he has other appointments. To make it more annoying, my boss happened to make a surprise visit and get there the same exact time that they did. I think I was set-up. The next day we agreed to push the time back to 10 o’clock. We had the students ready and set up to go at 10 o’clock. They presenters didn’t show up till 1115. I have always thought that my people running on CPT (Colored People Time) is crazy but this is on a whole new level. Latin people time is no joke.

Lately there have been a lot of kids hanging outside the classrooms. Having a bunch of kids walking around freely is not good for anyone, especially when the majority is boys. I have witnessed my third fight this week. Seeing a fight always gets me angry. Not because the students are trying to beat on each other, kids have been beating on each other since the beginning of time. It’s because usually when I see one I’m on the other side of the building and I run full speed to go and stop it. By time I get there teacher pops out of a classroom and stops it before I can. I ran full speed in this 90 degree weather and got my clothes sweaty for nothing. At least let me stop the fight if I went through all that.

I can’t believe he just called me that.

Slowly things are starting to come together. I am no longer bored and at school and I am meeting more and more people each week. In school I have been participating in English classes to get to know the students. The good thing about my role in the class is that I get to do all the fun stuff while the professor does the tedious work, like grammar and sentence structure. I basically play games with them and do speaking exercises. Since the high school that I work in is a vocational school, the majority of the students are boys, so I have to take that into account with the activities that I do. My favorite one so far is to have them tell me what they would say to a girl that they first met. Then I would translate it and have them try to spit game to a girl in the class using only English. All the Rico Suave looking guys jump at the opportunity to show off their skills. It’s very entertaining to watch. Besides that I have been organizing a workshop with a nonprofit organization to teach the students how to form their own business after graduation.

Usually something weird happens to me every week, but for some reason those experiences are less frequent now. The only one I can think of off the top of my head is when I was walking to school a couple of weeks ago and I guy stopped me and asked “Do you speak English”. He was tall bald guy on crutches and had excellent English. He actually sounded American. He then asked me if I would give him some money. It was a week till pay day and I only had 5 dollars in my name. There was no way in the world I was going to give him anything. I was dead broke. I told him “Naw man, I’m a volunteer here and I don’t make much money, sorry”. Then he said to me “ATLEAST YOU CAN WALK”. Normally I would feel sorry for him but I’ve been told on many occasions by other volunteers that there is a tall guy that has an American accent that says he is trapped in Panama with no money and needs to get home. He makes up this elaborate story about the embassy being closed so he can’t get in contact with his family and blah blah blah blah… He has already tricked many volunteers into giving him money. I suspect that this is the guy, because I thought I saw the same guy walking without a problem a couple of days before . Three days later I was walking home from school and saw the same guy. This time when I walked by him he mumbled something to me but I didn’t understand immediately. You know how when someone says something to you and you keep repeating it in your head until it makes sense. When I got about 10 steps away from him the words that he was mumbling began to make sense. I never thought I would hear someone call me this in Panama. He called me a “Sorry A** N***A”. That was messed up. I can’t believe he just called me that. I wanted to go back and kick his crutches from beneath him. Then I thought about the chances of someone saying that to me in a Spanish speaking country and started laughing. Luckily I haven’t crossed him again.

I have the reputation for hanging out with hookers

The new school year has just begun and it’s time for me to get on the grind. During the vacation I didn’t really do much, only plan activities for the year. So as soon as I realized school was starting in a week I jumped into action. Last week began the planning week for the entire faculty in the school. From 8 in the morning till 12 all of the teachers were required to go to the school and listen to the school changes and the grades that they are now required to teach. The first day of the meeting I quickly realized that I have been slacking horrible on studying Spanish. About 80 percent of the meeting I did not understand, so I sat there for 4 hours daydreaming about all the different types of food I was going to eat when I get back to the states and reading over the articles that they gave in my folder. I didn’t want to spend another day torturing myself like that so I decided to go to Panama City early for errands I needed to run. One of the things I needed to do was go to the office in the city and make as many copies of a book as I could and lug them back to the school. The book is by a friend of mine named Giovanni Gonzalez and it addresses topics such as self esteem and reaching ones dreams. Over the summer I have been trying to create a creative way to get the students to read it, but I had to first get more copies to distribute. Also I had to pick up my mail in the city. It’s a 7 hour trip so I jumped onto the midnight bus and arrived in the city early Tuesday morning.

If you don’t know by now, Panama City is very modern. It’s a place full of tourist and Americans that decided to escape from the states for whatever reason. So more or less, its kind of like being in a small city in the states. There are some aspects about the city that I like and there are others that I completely hate. Like how it seems that everyone is trying to cheat you. As soon as someone hears a foreign accent, Bam!! The price doubles. Especially with the taxi drivers. They will all of a sudden bump up the price or literally steal your money, by not giving you your change. This isn’t the wild west where you can just shoot someone for cheating you are start punching them in the face. All you can really do is just be calm about it and don’t let it bother you. I vowed that I would not let another taxi driver take me for a fool again, so I carry a wad full of ones so I can always give exact change. So when I go to the city, I don’t play around, I do what I need to do and try to leave as soon as possible. After spending the afternoon making all the copies I needed to make and meeting a friend of mine for lunch to get my package I was worn out. I decided to stay in the city that night and take the first bus out in the morning. So I had to catch a taxi to get to the hostel where I was going to stay. I thought everything would be under control. I negotiated a price with the taxi driver before I jumped in and thought I had a pocket full of ones. After he took me to my hostel I realized that I only had a 5 and I owed him three dollars. So I gave him the 5 dollars and waited for my change. Then he told me, that’s it you don’t get any change back. Ok, Ok, hold up what? You told me 3 dollars… Well it was further than you said it was.. What are you talking about, it was a block away from the corner I specified…Well I have to charge you for my extra time…You charging me almost double for the extra 2 minutes… That when I blew up. I don’t want to say the things I told this man in this blog because it was not very Peace Corpsish of me. I guess sometimes you reach a point where you can’t be calm anymore, that was my point. Now that I look back at it, it is kind of messed up that I blew up on that man like that over 2 dollars. Needless to say, first thing in the morning I Ieft panama city as soon as possible.

The next day when I returned back to my province I spent the day helping another volunteer find things for her house. She took forever to decide, so I was literally with her all day walking around the city. I decided to give the meetings at the school another try, I arrived there around 9 in the morning to participate in the meetings. For some reason that day I understood things a lot better. That day I decided to join 3 school committees. One of them is the sports committee, during announcements for who will be participating in each committee, the director of the sports committee decided to publicly name me the referee for the soccer games and some other sport I never heard of. Wow..I never played soccer a day in my life and I have no idea what the rules are. I then asked a professor that speaks English if I understood correctly that she just volunteered me to be a referee. He said..Hey man don’t worry about it, its easy…then he pointed to the door and said I need to talk to you. We walked outside then he said

..Man you have to be careful..Careful, what are you talking about?...You can’t be hanging around those horny girls…Horny girls? I still don’t know what you’re talking about?..Those girls that have sex for money, I heard you where walking around yesterday with that hooker…Man I was with a volunteer all day yesterday..Does she speak English?..Yes she was born in the states.. Really? She looks just like that hooker that ask everyone to take advantage of her services...Yes really she is a volunteer and I know the lady that you’re talking about because she asked me a few weeks ago, but that’s not her. Who told you that?..Im sorry man don’t tell him I told you but he is over there..

So with in 1 week of starting school I have already been the tagged as the gringo the hangs around with hookers. I don’t know how far the rumor has spread but, I needed to cut it off as soon as possible. I walked over to the teacher where the story originated and said to him.

Hey, man I saw you yesterday but you didn’t wave at me….Yea I saw you I was driving..Well it’s ok, I was real busy. I had to show another volunteer where she could find things that she needed for her house…A volunteer?..Yea a volunteer, she lives in Bocas..She’s one of you? Yep..Oh I made a mistake…What do you mean? I thought that she was one of those horny girls..No, If I was to get caught with a hooker, I would get kicked out..Oh, I was worried that you were going to get AIDS, those girls are dangerous.

This is already going to be an interesting school year.

Panama, where street hustlers are made

Panama is the place where street hustlers are made. At ever corner there is someone trying to sell you something, fruits, vegetables, candy, bootleg cds, movies, whatever. The strangest thing I have seen so far are people walking around selling the most random things like qtips and super glue. Like as if I were walking down the street and someone said hey I’m selling qtips and super glue,, ..Oh snaps that’s exactly what I need for my for my qtip house that I am making!!! Someone has to be buying it if every street vendor has them!! So I’ve decided that if anyone approaches me on the street I just keep walking or if they somehow stop me, I only speak to them in English. Every so often I run into this lady trying to sell me the most random stuff. The first time I saw her she said Hey my brother, Bocas or Colon. (Bocas and Colon are the places here where most of the black people live). In english I said.. neither I’m from the states.. Then she tried to sell me some used brown tap shoes. Where shot got tap shoes, I do not know but I’m pretty sure that I don’t need any. I said no then she said ok, give me a dollar. I just walked off. Two days later she saw me at a restaurant eating and she tried to sell me a pen. I again sad no, then she said give me a quarter. Two weeks later I just finished ordering food and I heard someone from across the room yelling Hey..Papi.. Papi.. Mi amor..buy this mirror..I know you speak Spanish, I heard you clearly speak it..Heeeeyy, Heeeeey. I just kept on eating as if I couldn’t understand trying to hold in my laugher. After a few minutes of her yelling the man behind me starting laughing for me. The most awkward one was when I went to go buy a phone card for my cell phone. I usually go to the same place to get them, actually it was the same place where a roach jumped out of my man bag. A lady that was walking by heard me speak to the vendor an immediately stopped me and asked what my name was. I was kinda confused why she went out of her way to meet me. I looked her up and down and she reminded me of a real estate agent. Her hair was recently done and she was dressed up nicely. I told her my name then she asked where I was from. As soon as she asked that I looked over her shoulder and saw the guy who just sold me the phone card shaking his head as mouthing NNOOOOOOOOOO. That’s when she asked me if I would like to acostar with her for 20 dollars. Then I said no thank you but ask they guy behind you, I think he might.

Right now it’s pretty active in parts of Panama. Recently there has been a law passed that will allow mining here in the west side of Panama. This will allow outside companies primarily foreign to come to Panama for copper and gold deposits which may be amongst the highest in the world. The environment will be destroyed and the indigenous people that live there will be drastically affected. It’s horrible what will happen to these people if they follow through with the mining. A friend of mine in Ecuador told me that in situations like this the poor people will be exploited while the rich who caused all of this will be sitting on an island drinking mai tais. It’s sad but true. So there has been protest all over, and people storming the streets with their signs yelling. These people are clearly pissed. The interAmericana highway has been blocked for days because of the protest, making traveling to Panama City a pain. I hope that hurry up and settle this because I need to get my mail in Panama City. One of my biggest goals here is to stay off the news, so Im going to keep myself here and stay far away from riots as possible.

Ungrateful little farts

Recently I decided to try a new venture. The first day I arrived here in Panama I decided that I was not going to teach English. I didn’t want to get involved in trying to explain the grammar and why this word changes here and why not there. Most definitely knowing that I have bad grammar myself. How am I supposed to teach good English grammar when I always confuse when to use, was and where. After being here a few months, many people have wanted me to teach them English, or have asked me to proofread their English assignment. It reminds me of how I use to ask my Spanish speaking friends to edit my papers at the last minute. They are now getting their payback. I’ll just being walking down the street and someone would stop me and ask are you the Peace Corps volunteer, could you edit my paper? Sure when?…Uhm its due in 2 hours.

I figured sooner or later I would have to teach an English class, so I did research on how to conduct a class and use different activities to keep the class from being bored. I asked other volunteers for materials and ideas on how to do it effectively. I also wanted to know how the Panamanians taught English to other Panamanians. So I got on the internet and found a language institute that taught Spanish to Americans and English to Panamanians. It is located in Boquete about an hour away from me. I called them and asked if I could help with their classes and sit in. The lady on the phone said sure, can you meet me here in the office. When I arrived in Boquete, it was like I was back in the United States. Everyone speaks English and it is full of retired Americans. It looked like there were more Americans than Panamanians. It’s kinda like a Cuban going to Miami. When I found the office I told them who I was and they asked me, when I can start teaching? I was like WWWHHHHOOOOAAAA. I was interested in learning how yall teach. Then the guy told me that they no longer had a teacher because it is volunteer based and the last teacher left. I figured it would be good practice for when school started, so I agreed. He told me that they didn’t have a curriculum in place so I would have to make up my own materials and he didn’t really know their levels, he thought they may be intermediate. So I went home and started making a curriculum for basic and intermediate students, since I was not sure on their levels. And I had to make sure I knew what I was going to talk about. I didn’t want to be in front of the students stuttering and looking I have no idea what I was doing. This process took me around 3 hours. I traveled back to Boquete at the assigned time of class and all of the students arrived on time. I started off with the basic activities to see what they knew. They knocked out each activity without any effort. So I decided to do harder activities and asked them what else they wanted to learn. They had no idea, so I just suggested some things to them and started lecturing. At the end of the class I actually thought it was fun and I was excited to start the next one. I then told then IN SPANISH that I will be back Wednesday to teach the next class. So I went home and prepared the next lesson, but 3 times harder. And I wanted that the students have multiple classes a week, but I couldn’t afford to make the trip up there every day. So I coordinated with volunteers that live near me, and they agreed that they would take a day of the week and help teach. It was all set up, the students would have multiple teaching styles and they would get English classes 3 to 4 times a week for free. I felt proud of myself. When Wednesday came I hopped on the bus and went to Boquete. I was ready, with my man bag full of dictionaries and candy for one of the activities. I got there about 30 minutes early to make sure I had everything in order. 530 came..no students..545..no students….6 oclock..no students. I walked up to the director and asked him, where are the students? He then called them and they told him that they thought the class was only Mondays. Then he told me maybe they didn’t understand that I was going to be here today. I was like; my Spanish isn’t THAT BAD that they couldn’t understand me. I said OK, whatever, I’ll be back Monday. For some reason it didn’t bother me that much. Fast forward to Monday. Before I traveled to Boquete I went back over my lesson plans and thought of some harder activities to do. This time I arrived at exactly at 530 but there were no students again. A female director this time walked up to me and said are you Alec. Yes I am. Are you the person that came last week and the students didn’t show up? Yea that’s me. Well the students aren’t going to be here today because they don’t want to learn things that they already know. I said, well I had no idea what they already knew so I had to start with the basics, once I realized that they were a bit more advanced I started making things harder for them, and besides I am a native speaker of English I will always have something more to teach them. I have been speaker English since BIRTH. She said well they wanted to learn more advanced things, Ill give you a call if there is any change. I got up and walked out the office calmly and found the bus stop. It wasn’t until I realized that I would have to wait 30 minutes to an hour for the next bus the frustration kicked in. HOLD UP, YOU COULDN’T HAVE CALLED ME BEFORE I WASTED MY TIME AND MONEY COMING DOWN HERE, LITTLE UNGRATEUL FARTS. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. When I got home I told the other volunteers that were going to help with the class the story, and they told me I don’t want anything to do with that.

I woke up the next morning to a phone call from the same director of the language institute, asking me can I come back or send another person to teach the English class. All I could think was ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU ASK ME TO COME BACK WITHOUT AN APOLOGY OR ANYTHING. But it’s funny how after all of that I still wanted to teach the class. But if I figured that if I went back like she asked, no one would learn the lesson that wasting people’s time like that is NOT COOL. I didn’t really blame the students too much because of their age. Sometimes we don’t learn how to appreciate something until we are older. I admit that I didn’t always appreciate the opportunities that were given to me when I was younger. However the director still did annoy me, because she didn’t call me and explain the situation before I traveled up there the day before. I then calmly told her because of the things that happened earlier I was a bit frustrated and didn’t want it to happen again. So if after a month from today you do not have a teacher, you can call me back and I’ll let you know if I am available.

The Beautiful Struggle

This has been a slow month for working and doing any kind of volunteer work. School is out and summer just began so it’s extremely hot. Going outside during the day is not an option. Most of my time has been basically looking for places to live and meeting people. However I am proud to announce that I am finally a apartment owner. I mean renter. After strenuous searching I found a place close to my assigned community but in the center of the city. When I saw it I immediately like it. In comparison to the ones I have seen, this one was my favorite, and it happened to be available. It seems that the agency that rents out the apartment knows that the apartment is a decent price and the location is great too. So they tend to be a little cocky. They knew that someone would rent it as soon as they put up a sign that says apartment available. I say that because when I went to look at the apartment, there were no light bulbs, and the apartment wasn’t cleaned. I asked them that if I rent this place would you at least give me some light bulbs. She gave me a blank stare and said light bulbs aren’t included. Seriously.. you cant give me light bulbs after paying you the first month’s rent and a deposit, I can’t get one light bulb? No.. Ok fine then, I’ll buy my own light bulbs. I started to have second thoughts and was going to walk out just on the principle that she wouldn’t give me any light bulbs until someone else walked in and said do you still have the apartment available. I WAS STUCK, I had to take it. After we drafted the contract I carefully read it and asked why this says I am only allowed basic electrical uses. She then told me that I can only use a fan and the lights that I would have to buy. So are you telling me that I can’t have a refrigerator? Uhm..Yes. .. Are you serious? I’m getting a refrigerator. Surprisingly she said, ok. A week later I moved in.

Making it rain in panama comes with its consequences. I knew that the day I decided to go to panama for new years it was going to be an expensive decision. Most definitely after renting an apartment the other day. However I was very excited to get the opportunity to see some of the volunteers i haven’t seen since training and to see a friend of mine named Martha who was coming from Georgia to visit her family in Panama City. Since she was going to be here she agreed to pick up a package from my mother and bring it. So the first thing I did was sit down, and make out a strict budget for three days in Panama City (The black hole for your wallet). In the early morning of December 30^th I took out all of the money I would need for the trip and another volunteer that lives near me hopped the bus on our way to Panama City. The thing that I didn’t count on was that when I arrived my lack of self control would set in. As soon as I got off the bus I went to go get a blizzard at dairy queen. (You have no idea when the last time I had one of those). Checked into the hotel and got an expensive dinner. (Well when I say expensive it basically means the same prices that something would cost in the states. Like a 5 dollar sandwich from subway as an example). After that everything became a blur. Over priced movie theatres, 3 six dollar hamburgers that where the six of silver dollars, 3 dollar beers and i don’t even like beer. Then I went to the ATM, the biggest mistake. I was planning to stay for 3 days, after the second I was like “oh crap I have to go home”. The next day I check out of my hotel and hopped the bus home feeling kinda stupid. On the 7 hour bus back I just sat and thought of how I was going to survive the rest of the month. I’ll take you through the thought process I had to go through. Now that I think back, it’s kinda funny, but at the time I was doing this it was serious stuff.

--Ok I have X amount of dollars, and I have to wait a couple of more weeks till I get paid. If I eat beans rice and chicken for $1.50 every day I can probably make it till payday. Hold-up, How would I pay to clean my clothes and get a haircut?...Ok for three of those days I’ll have to skip some meals..Naw I can’t do that. Maybe if I don’t eat lunch every day? Uhm that would be difficult. Ok OK OK I got it, I’ll eat breakfast and dinner but for lunch I’ll go to the fruit market and get 4 bananas for a quarter and eat that for lunch. But I need to get a fan for the apartment, if I buy that I can’t eat. Ok I can’t buy a fan then. When I get home each day I’ll just have to stay in one spot and read a book not to generate too much body heat.--

So I did that for a couple of weeks. It was not fun AT ALL. Apparently I wasn’t the only one that acted stupidly during the trip to Panama City. Every volunteer I talked to were going through the same thing. They all said that they were busted this month and refused to leave the house. Peace Corps must have somehow knew of our situation because I was told from another volunteer that we got payed early. After I checked the bank I immediately called the other volunteer that went to Panama City with me and said hey we got payed early. He said “Oh God are your serious, I can actually eat today. I was just going to have coffee today.” Hilarious stuff, but all true.

This month has been a horrible one for my Spanish. During the last few weeks I have spoken English the majority of the time. There has been a barrage of volunteers that have come to the city because they are sick or need to do some shopping. At the same time I’ve been meeting Panamanians that speak English. My next door neighbor was loading his truck one day and just asked me “Hey do you speak English”, because I was raised in the Miami. My barber studied in an International school and constantly wants to practice his English. Also since it’s the football playoffs I see a lot of Americans at the casinos watching the games. So when I have to speak to a Panamanian that only speaks Spanish just a big blurb of half English and half Spanish comes out of my mouth. It sounds pretty horrible at times. Sometimes I don’t know what language I’m speaking until I get a confused look from whoever I’m talking too. This reminds me of the people that I meet at the casino. Usually when I’m there and a football game is playing, I’m the only one actually paying attention to the TV. So people immediately recognize that I must be a foreigner. Sometimes I meet some cool people from all over the world just by watching football. It seems that the majority of single Americans that moved down here for other reasons besides work are big creepsters.  When they approach me watching the game they ask, “where are you from”, and “could I join you”. They are usually about 40 to 50 years old and speak very limited if any Spanish at all. They sit down and immediately tell their whole life story, how life in the states is rough, where they worked, and how long they been here. Usually I’m fine with it. I’m more comfortable speaking English with people so don’t object to someone wanting to have a conversation. However the ones that start talking about politics and how the real estate market is doing badly kind of annoys me. I’m sitting here trying to figure out why Mike Vick is getting sacked and this guy wants to bother me about why they think American has become a communist nation, or about their 18 year old Panamanian girlfriends. Its unfortunate that some of the Americans that I have met here are rude to the Panamanians also. Barking out orders to them in English as if they can understand or just being all around doochbags. Next time someone ask me where am I from, Im just going to say Belize.