After the day I moved out of the first host family’s house, I went into a little slump. I still didn’t know my place here as a volunteer. I have only been in my site for about two months, but I still felt like I wasn’t moving fast enough. Sometimes the problems in the community seem like they are way too big for me, and I felt that the school really didn’t need me. For weeks I just sat and tried to brainstorm ideas on what I should do. Most of the ideas that I came up with required too much money or required participation from too many people. At the same time I was still getting use to the obvious differences from my culture and the Panamanians. Little everyday things that happen here were becoming big to me. I was getting tired of people just randomly cutting me in line, interrupting me when I was talking, rushing off the buses like there is a bomb in it, and constantly eating rice and beans. These are small things that usually I laugh at but when I felt like I didn’t have a purpose, it just made it hard on me. In the last few months, I have met many volunteers throughout the country. I believe that all volunteers come here with the purpose to help, but after a while things change. Some of us get soo frustrated with the differences here that they just give up. They become heavy partiers and are worthless to the community that they are supposed to serve. Some just say “FORGET THIS” and go home. I doubt that I will become one of these people; however I don’t want the temptation. I would like to be one of the volunteers that I have met who find that happy median and don’t allow the frustration to weigh them down.
A few days ago I had a change of heart. I went to visit the school counselor just to see how she was doing. After speaking to her I found out that she is the one who actually requested me to be at the school. We sat and talked about ideas that I came up with and what she felt that the school needed. After an hour of talking, we brainstormed a lot of ideas that would keep me busy for the entire next year. It’s as if my energy was renewed from that conversation. I was again happy and ready to move on to other challenges that I have to deal with, like finding another place to live and getting to know more people.
I have been extremely aggressive in trying to find an apartment. This month I’ve been searching crazzzy hard. I have no idea how many miles I walked to go see apartments and how many people I’ve called for information. Unfortunately I haven’t mastered the art of speaking Spanish over the phone. The only thing that I can do is to listen for the important words and phrases. The conversation usually goes like this. Hola Como esta…. Rakataka rakataka bbbllluugg blug 2 bedrooms….does it have its own kitchen and bathroom…rakataka rakataka yes…where is it…. Blug blug rakataka rakataka.. in David City..how much does it cost…. De repente.. blug…rakataka 150 a month..How long is the contract for…raaakkkttaa..a year..where are you from? Are you Arabic?.. No I’m from the States, Thank you and I’ll give you a call back. Eventually I found a decent place in a great part of town that is a short walk to the school and all the stores that a shop at. Bam now my second problem is solved.
Not too long ago, I was talking to a couple Panamanians about how I haven’t had the chance to make a lot of friends here in the city. So far I have a lot of acquaintances but not many people to talk to on a regular base. They suggested to me that I should join this website that a lot of people in Panama use to meet people. They said it was kind of like a Panamanian facebook. At first I said no I don’t feel like it, but about after 2 weeks or so I decided to give it a try. So I sat down and took about 15 minutes to make a profile. There is a question on the signup that says who are you willing to meet? I put whoever because I figured I’m on here to network with natives, no matter what their sex is. SOO a couple of days later I check my email and the site alerted me that I had six new messages. Wow this site works fast. I log on to check the messages and all of the messages are from MEN. One message is from a 52 year old man that has constantly checked my page. They message read “hey fella”, the next one was from some guy with his shirt off and oil all over his chest. The message read, “Hey how are you, I want to see more pics.” I stopped reading after that. No Mr. Oiled up man you cannot see anymore pictures! I guess I’m going to shut down my profile and just meet people the old fashion way. Wish me luck
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