The Beautiful Struggle

This has been a slow month for working and doing any kind of volunteer work. School is out and summer just began so it’s extremely hot. Going outside during the day is not an option. Most of my time has been basically looking for places to live and meeting people. However I am proud to announce that I am finally a apartment owner. I mean renter. After strenuous searching I found a place close to my assigned community but in the center of the city. When I saw it I immediately like it. In comparison to the ones I have seen, this one was my favorite, and it happened to be available. It seems that the agency that rents out the apartment knows that the apartment is a decent price and the location is great too. So they tend to be a little cocky. They knew that someone would rent it as soon as they put up a sign that says apartment available. I say that because when I went to look at the apartment, there were no light bulbs, and the apartment wasn’t cleaned. I asked them that if I rent this place would you at least give me some light bulbs. She gave me a blank stare and said light bulbs aren’t included. Seriously.. you cant give me light bulbs after paying you the first month’s rent and a deposit, I can’t get one light bulb? No.. Ok fine then, I’ll buy my own light bulbs. I started to have second thoughts and was going to walk out just on the principle that she wouldn’t give me any light bulbs until someone else walked in and said do you still have the apartment available. I WAS STUCK, I had to take it. After we drafted the contract I carefully read it and asked why this says I am only allowed basic electrical uses. She then told me that I can only use a fan and the lights that I would have to buy. So are you telling me that I can’t have a refrigerator? Uhm..Yes. .. Are you serious? I’m getting a refrigerator. Surprisingly she said, ok. A week later I moved in.

Making it rain in panama comes with its consequences. I knew that the day I decided to go to panama for new years it was going to be an expensive decision. Most definitely after renting an apartment the other day. However I was very excited to get the opportunity to see some of the volunteers i haven’t seen since training and to see a friend of mine named Martha who was coming from Georgia to visit her family in Panama City. Since she was going to be here she agreed to pick up a package from my mother and bring it. So the first thing I did was sit down, and make out a strict budget for three days in Panama City (The black hole for your wallet). In the early morning of December 30^th I took out all of the money I would need for the trip and another volunteer that lives near me hopped the bus on our way to Panama City. The thing that I didn’t count on was that when I arrived my lack of self control would set in. As soon as I got off the bus I went to go get a blizzard at dairy queen. (You have no idea when the last time I had one of those). Checked into the hotel and got an expensive dinner. (Well when I say expensive it basically means the same prices that something would cost in the states. Like a 5 dollar sandwich from subway as an example). After that everything became a blur. Over priced movie theatres, 3 six dollar hamburgers that where the six of silver dollars, 3 dollar beers and i don’t even like beer. Then I went to the ATM, the biggest mistake. I was planning to stay for 3 days, after the second I was like “oh crap I have to go home”. The next day I check out of my hotel and hopped the bus home feeling kinda stupid. On the 7 hour bus back I just sat and thought of how I was going to survive the rest of the month. I’ll take you through the thought process I had to go through. Now that I think back, it’s kinda funny, but at the time I was doing this it was serious stuff.

--Ok I have X amount of dollars, and I have to wait a couple of more weeks till I get paid. If I eat beans rice and chicken for $1.50 every day I can probably make it till payday. Hold-up, How would I pay to clean my clothes and get a haircut?...Ok for three of those days I’ll have to skip some meals..Naw I can’t do that. Maybe if I don’t eat lunch every day? Uhm that would be difficult. Ok OK OK I got it, I’ll eat breakfast and dinner but for lunch I’ll go to the fruit market and get 4 bananas for a quarter and eat that for lunch. But I need to get a fan for the apartment, if I buy that I can’t eat. Ok I can’t buy a fan then. When I get home each day I’ll just have to stay in one spot and read a book not to generate too much body heat.--

So I did that for a couple of weeks. It was not fun AT ALL. Apparently I wasn’t the only one that acted stupidly during the trip to Panama City. Every volunteer I talked to were going through the same thing. They all said that they were busted this month and refused to leave the house. Peace Corps must have somehow knew of our situation because I was told from another volunteer that we got payed early. After I checked the bank I immediately called the other volunteer that went to Panama City with me and said hey we got payed early. He said “Oh God are your serious, I can actually eat today. I was just going to have coffee today.” Hilarious stuff, but all true.

This month has been a horrible one for my Spanish. During the last few weeks I have spoken English the majority of the time. There has been a barrage of volunteers that have come to the city because they are sick or need to do some shopping. At the same time I’ve been meeting Panamanians that speak English. My next door neighbor was loading his truck one day and just asked me “Hey do you speak English”, because I was raised in the Miami. My barber studied in an International school and constantly wants to practice his English. Also since it’s the football playoffs I see a lot of Americans at the casinos watching the games. So when I have to speak to a Panamanian that only speaks Spanish just a big blurb of half English and half Spanish comes out of my mouth. It sounds pretty horrible at times. Sometimes I don’t know what language I’m speaking until I get a confused look from whoever I’m talking too. This reminds me of the people that I meet at the casino. Usually when I’m there and a football game is playing, I’m the only one actually paying attention to the TV. So people immediately recognize that I must be a foreigner. Sometimes I meet some cool people from all over the world just by watching football. It seems that the majority of single Americans that moved down here for other reasons besides work are big creepsters.  When they approach me watching the game they ask, “where are you from”, and “could I join you”. They are usually about 40 to 50 years old and speak very limited if any Spanish at all. They sit down and immediately tell their whole life story, how life in the states is rough, where they worked, and how long they been here. Usually I’m fine with it. I’m more comfortable speaking English with people so don’t object to someone wanting to have a conversation. However the ones that start talking about politics and how the real estate market is doing badly kind of annoys me. I’m sitting here trying to figure out why Mike Vick is getting sacked and this guy wants to bother me about why they think American has become a communist nation, or about their 18 year old Panamanian girlfriends. Its unfortunate that some of the Americans that I have met here are rude to the Panamanians also. Barking out orders to them in English as if they can understand or just being all around doochbags. Next time someone ask me where am I from, Im just going to say Belize.